Just a Foster Family

When you fall in love with a foster who has fit into your family so well it's sooo tempting to want to keep her. And there's been a few here and there that I wantd to keep. I almost felt like I would be betraying the pup who I knew was falling in love with us as much as we were falling for her. When the dog goes from absolute fear to meeting my eyes with love and devotion it's hard to give her up. I tell the pup I'm just a foster mom and I was here to find her a good home with people who will love her forever. I say this over and over and I know maybe I'm just trying to convince myself.
When they leave sometimes it feels like my heart has been ripped from my chest. Will they understand that I did love them and that's why I gave them up? Will they know that their trust wasn't betrayed and that moving them to a new home is the best thing for them?
I worry.
I think about them day and night.
Hoping their adoptive peeps will be extra gentle with them for a few days as they adjust.
I worry.
I think.
And wonder if this is the dog I should have kept.
And if she'll forgive me for passing her on.
I cry over this.
And then I remember that by adopting this one out, I save one more. That's the prize. The gift for the one I adopted out and the gift for the one on death row in a shelter somewhere.
So for the pain in our heart of the dog we adopted out and the hope in our heart for the dog on death row we remind ourselves that we are just a foster family. We take them in, heal their pain, and find them a forever home.
It's what we do.
We are foster families.